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3 new dating terms to know

In the article titled "10 new dating terms everyone needs to know: from 'banksying' to 'throning'" published on Mashable, author Rachel Thompson explores the evolving landscape of modern dating by introducing and explaining ten newly coined terms that reflect contemporary relationship dynamics and behaviors. Published on February 13, 2020, the piece delves into the complexities of dating in the digital age, where new technologies, cultural shifts, and social media influence how people connect, interact, and sometimes manipulate each other in romantic contexts. These terms, often born out of online communities and dating app experiences, provide a vocabulary for phenomena that many have encountered but struggled to name. Below is an extensive summary of the content, breaking down each term and its significance while contextualizing the broader themes of modern romance.

The first term introduced is "banksying," a concept inspired by the elusive street artist Banksy, known for creating art that appears suddenly and often disappears just as quickly. In dating, "banksying" refers to someone who enters a person’s life with intense charm and attention, only to vanish without explanation, leaving the other person confused and emotionally unsettled. This behavior mirrors the fleeting, mysterious nature of Banksy’s work, and the term captures the frustration of dealing with someone who seems deeply invested one moment and completely detached the next. Thompson highlights how this term resonates in an era where ghosting—disappearing without communication—has become a common dating grievance, but "banksying" adds a layer of intentional mystique to the act.

Next, the article discusses "floodlighting," a term that describes the act of oversharing personal or emotional information early in a relationship to create a false sense of intimacy. Unlike genuine vulnerability, floodlighting is often manipulative, as the person sharing may use their disclosures to pressure the other into reciprocating or to fast-track emotional closeness. Thompson explains that this behavior can overwhelm the recipient, who may feel burdened by the sudden depth of information or manipulated into a connection they’re not ready for. The term draws an analogy to being blinded by a sudden, intense light, emphasizing the discomfort and disorientation it causes in a budding relationship.

"Throning" is the third term, referring to dating someone primarily for the social status or prestige they bring, much like placing someone on a throne to elevate one’s own image. This behavior is often seen in relationships where one partner uses the other as a trophy or a means to gain admiration from peers, rather than valuing them for who they are. Thompson points out that throning is particularly prevalent in the age of social media, where relationships are often curated for public consumption through carefully crafted posts and photos. The term underscores the superficiality that can pervade modern dating, where external validation sometimes trumps genuine connection.

The article then moves to "dial-toning," a term for when someone gives out their phone number but never responds to calls or texts, effectively ignoring the other person after providing a means of contact. This behavior is likened to the sound of a dial tone on a phone, symbolizing a dead end. Thompson notes that dial-toning is a passive-aggressive way of avoiding confrontation while still appearing to show interest initially. It reflects the ambivalence and lack of accountability that can characterize interactions on dating apps, where people may collect numbers or matches without any intention of following through.

Another term, "cookie-jarring," describes the act of keeping someone as a backup option while pursuing a more serious relationship with someone else. The metaphor here is of storing cookies in a jar for later, suggesting that the person being "jarred" is kept on the sidelines, unaware of their secondary status. Thompson explains that this behavior often stems from insecurity or a fear of being alone, leading individuals to maintain multiple romantic prospects simultaneously. Cookie-jarring highlights the ethical dilemmas of modern dating, where transparency and honesty can be sacrificed for personal convenience.

"Stashing" is introduced as the act of hiding a romantic partner from one’s social circle, whether by avoiding introductions to friends and family or keeping the relationship off social media. This term captures the secrecy and compartmentalization that can occur when someone is not fully committed or is ashamed of the relationship. Thompson discusses how stashing can leave the hidden partner feeling undervalued or questioning their worth, as it signals a lack of integration into the other person’s life. The rise of social media has amplified the significance of public acknowledgment in relationships, making stashing a particularly hurtful behavior in the digital age.

The seventh term, "zombieing," refers to when someone who previously ghosted reappears in a person’s life as if nothing happened, much like a zombie rising from the dead. This can happen through a sudden text, social media interaction, or even an in-person encounter, often leaving the recipient bewildered or frustrated. Thompson notes that zombieing reflects a lack of accountability, as the returning person rarely acknowledges their past disappearance or offers an apology. This term speaks to the cyclical nature of some modern relationships, where closure is elusive, and past connections can resurface unexpectedly due to the persistent connectivity of digital platforms.

"Prowling" is described as the act of seeking out romantic or sexual encounters with an aggressive or predatory approach, often disregarding the other person’s boundaries or comfort. Thompson emphasizes that prowling can manifest both online and offline, such as through persistent messaging on dating apps or overly forward behavior in social settings. The term carries a negative connotation, highlighting the importance of consent and mutual respect in dating interactions. It also reflects broader conversations about safety and power dynamics in romantic pursuits, especially for women and marginalized groups who may feel particularly vulnerable to such behavior.

The ninth term, "kittenfishing," is a lighter form of catfishing, where someone presents a slightly exaggerated or idealized version of themselves online, often through edited photos or embellished profiles, without fully fabricating their identity. Thompson explains that kittenfishing is common on dating apps, where the pressure to stand out can lead individuals to tweak their appearance or personality traits. While less deceptive than catfishing, kittenfishing still raises questions about authenticity and the challenges of forming genuine connections in a space where first impressions are heavily curated.

Finally, "orbiting" describes the behavior of someone who no longer engages directly with a person but continues to interact with their online presence, such as liking posts or viewing stories on social media. This term captures the ambiguity of digital interactions, where someone can maintain a peripheral connection without committing to real communication. Thompson points out that orbiting can be confusing or hurtful, as it sends mixed signals about the person’s intentions. It reflects the unique challenges of modern dating, where technology allows for passive engagement that can keep emotional ties lingering long after direct contact has ceased.

Throughout the article, Thompson weaves a narrative about how these terms collectively paint a picture of the complexities and pitfalls of dating in the 21st century. The rise of dating apps, social media, and instant communication has created new opportunities for connection but also new ways to mislead, manipulate, or avoid accountability. Each term encapsulates a specific behavior or trend that many daters have likely experienced, giving a name to feelings of frustration, confusion, or betrayal that might otherwise go unarticulated. The author also subtly critiques the cultural shifts that enable these behaviors, such as the emphasis on image and status over substance, the ease of disappearing in a digital world, and the pressure to constantly seek new romantic prospects.

In conclusion, the Mashable article serves as both a glossary for modern dating and a commentary on the evolving nature of relationships. By defining terms like banksying, floodlighting, and throning, Thompson provides readers with tools to navigate and discuss their experiences in a landscape that is often bewildering and emotionally fraught. The piece ultimately underscores the need for greater awareness, communication, and empathy in dating, as well as a critical examination of how technology shapes our interactions. At over 700 words, this summary captures the essence of each term and the broader themes of the article, offering a comprehensive overview of the challenges and nuances of romance in the digital age.

Read the Full Mashable Article at:
[ https://mashable.com/article/new-dating-terms-banksying-floodlighting-throning ]