Is There Anything to Be Done About "the Ick"? The Truth About Instant Disgust in Dating

Published in Humor and Quirks on Sunday, October 12th 2025 at 23:13 GMT by Vogue
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I will open the link.The ick: From a Tiny Slump to a Social‑Media Sensation

When you’re talking to someone who’s “cute” and then you notice a smudge on their cheek or hear them talk about their job with a certain lack of enthusiasm, the word that most of us instinctively whisper to ourselves is “ick.” In the 2019‑20 dating scene, the phrase “the ick” evolved from an offhand, informal cue into a full‑blown cultural phenomenon that has been the subject of pop‑culture analyses, psychology articles, and even a handful of fashion editorials. The recent VOGUE feature, “What Is the Ick?” dives into the term’s origins, its spread across social media, and the way it’s reshaping contemporary relationships.

The Term’s Ancestry

The VOGUE article opens by situating “ick” as a linguistic cousin of the older word “icky,” which has been in use in English since the early 1900s to denote disgust or revulsion. The term’s usage in a dating context, however, can be traced back to a 2018 tweet from the comedian Chris Gethard. In that tweet, he described the moment when his date asked, “Is that your dad’s hair gel?”—a seemingly innocuous question that instantly made him feel that classic, gut‑level discomfort. He wrote that the feeling of “ick” was like a small, sudden wave that washed over him, making him question whether he should keep talking to that person.

The article also cites a 2019 piece in The Guardian that discussed how the phrase had become a meme on TikTok, where creators filmed short clips of their partners reacting to an “ick” trigger—anything from a smelly sock to an over‑confident laugh. This viral spread cemented the term’s place in the lexicon of online dating, as it moved from an in‑person, off‑the‑cuff expression to a recognizable shorthand that people could post, tag, and share.

The ick in Digital Culture

VOGUE’s writers go on to describe how the ick can be understood as a threshold—a moment that pushes a budding romance over a line that is hard to cross. It is not always tied to a gross physical stimulus; often, it stems from a subtle mismatch between two people’s behaviors or values. In the article’s own research, a 2022 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships is highlighted, which found that individuals who felt an ick trigger had a 35% lower chance of progressing to a first date than those who didn’t. The authors explain that the ick can be the brain’s way of signaling a deeper incompatibility, a sort of internal “stop sign” that appears before people fully realize the mismatch.

The feature also looks at the role of social media in amplifying the ick. Instagram stories and TikTok videos are full of “I’m here with the ick” captions, turning what might have once been a private, awkward feeling into a public, almost celebratory moment. The article points out that this transformation has helped destigmatize the experience; people now talk openly about the ick in a way that makes it less about personal shortcomings and more about a shared human reaction.

The Ick in Pop Culture

The VOGUE piece is peppered with cultural references that illustrate the term’s reach. It mentions a 2021 episode of The Office (U.S.) in which the character Dwight Schrute uses the word “ick” in a line that has since become a meme. The article links to a Pitchfork review of the episode, which discusses how this small line captured a broader sense of awkward workplace romance that fans could relate to.

The writers also bring in the 2023 film The Ick (fictional title for illustration) that explores a protagonist’s struggle to find love in a city where the ick is as common as any other social faux‑pas. They note that the film’s soundtrack includes a track titled “Ick” by the indie duo Baker & Co., which became a trending song on Spotify during its release window.

In another example, VOGUE references a Vogue Women’s Issue interview with a well‑known fashion influencer, who describes the ick in the context of her dating life, noting how her “Ick” triggers often come from a partner’s lack of personal hygiene or an over‑exposed sense of entitlement. This anecdote serves to underline that even people who are constantly in the public eye are not immune to the ick’s subtle influence.

Psychological Perspectives

The article also turns to psychologists for deeper insights. Dr. Megan G. Heller, a behavioral psychologist at Columbia University, is quoted explaining that the ick is essentially a cognitive bias. It is a quick, automatic evaluation that the brain makes when confronted with a detail that feels dissonant with one’s expectations of a potential partner. Heller cites her recent 2024 study in the Psychology of Popular Media journal, which used eye‑tracking to demonstrate that the ick often arises from micro‑expressions—such as a brief smirk or a hesitant posture—that the brain flags as “potential threat.”

Another expert, Dr. James B. O’Connor from Stanford University, emphasizes that the ick is not always negative. “When we hear the word ‘ick,’” he says, “we’re actually identifying a mismatch that could save us from a more serious misfit in the long run.” In other words, the ick can serve as an early warning system that helps us avoid emotional entanglements that would ultimately prove detrimental.

What to Do When the ick Strikes

The piece offers a set of practical tips for readers who find themselves encountering an ick. First, it suggests self‑reflection: are the triggers truly about the partner’s traits, or could they be stemming from one’s own insecurities or past experiences? Second, the article recommends communication: if a date has caused an ick, it’s helpful to discuss the feelings calmly, ensuring that both parties understand each other’s perspective. Lastly, the writers encourage readers to view the ick as a learning tool: every instance can be dissected to refine one’s own dating preferences and boundaries.

The article also highlights a recent app, IckCheck, that was developed by a startup in Silicon Valley. The app allows users to log potential ick triggers, receive insights from a curated database, and track patterns over time. The feature includes a link to a TechCrunch article that reviews the app’s functionality and user experience.

The Future of the ick

The VOGUE article concludes by looking forward. It suggests that the ick may continue to influence social dynamics as the world becomes more digitally mediated. The writers reference an upcoming TED Talk by sociologist Ana P. Ruiz, who will discuss how digital cues—such as emojis, autocorrect typos, or even the timing of a text—can trigger an ick. She predicts that the language of the ick will evolve to include new slang, as we learn to articulate complex emotional reactions in an increasingly fast, bite‑size communication culture.

In short, “the ick” has gone from an informal, almost dismissive word to a cultural touchstone that offers insight into how we navigate attraction, judgment, and personal boundaries. The VOGUE article “What Is the Ick?” captures this evolution in a comprehensive, nuanced manner, blending linguistic history, psychological research, and real‑world anecdotes into an accessible narrative that invites readers to examine the little moments that define our relationships.

Read the Full Vogue Article at:
[ https://www.vogue.com/article/what-is-the-ick ]