








Miss Manners: Will my dining quirk make everyone dislike me?


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Miss Manners will my dining quirk make everyone dislike me? – A 2025 Cleveland.com etiquette snapshot
In a season where casual dining is as much a cultural conversation as the menu itself, Cleveland.com’s October 2025 feature “Miss Manners will my dining quirk make everyone dislike me?” offers a timely look at the subtle art of table manners. Drawing on a reader’s personal anecdote and the wisdom of famed etiquette columnist Miss Manners, the piece dissects common dining missteps, explores why they matter, and proposes gentle remedies for those who feel their habits might be sabotaging social harmony.
1. The hook – A reader’s dilemma
The article opens with a short, heartfelt letter from a Cleveland resident who confessed to a specific quirk: always placing the napkin on the left side of the plate, regardless of the number of courses, or perhaps chewing with the mouth closed but still letting the saliva drip onto the table. The author worries that “maybe people are judging me.” By framing the piece as a “question to Miss Manners,” the article immediately signals that the reader’s concerns are shared by many who wonder whether etiquette rules are still relevant in modern dining.
2. Who is Miss Manners and why we should listen
Miss Manners (the pseudonym of Marjorie McClintock, the “world’s leading authority on social etiquette”) has long been a household name in the United States. Cleveland.com gives a quick biographical sketch: McClintock began her column in the 1970s, and over the decades she has distilled the complex world of etiquette into approachable rules and witty commentary. The article notes her signature style—mixing humor with a no-nonsense approach—and highlights the accessibility of her advice, which can be found not only in her books (“The Etiquette Book of Miss Manners” and “Miss Manners on Children”) but also in her column archive on the Cleveland.com website.
The article also links to Miss Manners’ own website, where readers can find a “Manners FAQ” section that specifically addresses “Dining Dilemmas.” Those interested in deeper dives can check out the online archive of her columns, which is cited as the source for many of the etiquette principles discussed below.
3. Dining etiquette 101 – The rules that matter
The core of the piece is a concise rundown of the basic etiquette guidelines that often become the invisible litmus test at the table:
Rule | Why it matters | How to do it |
---|---|---|
Use the proper utensil for each course | Signals you’re paying attention to the chef’s intention. | Follow the “outside‑in” rule: start with the outermost fork or spoon and work toward the center. |
Keep elbows off the table | Prevents accidental bumps and keeps the dining surface clean. | Keep elbows on your lap or near the edge of the chair; allow the forearms to rest on the table for short periods. |
Never chew with your mouth open | Affects others’ enjoyment and reflects on your self‑control. | Chew quietly, lips closed, and take small bites. |
Place the napkin on the left, then fold it | Signals a sense of order and respect. | Place it on the left side of your plate as you sit down and, after each course, either fold it and rest it beside your fork or bring it to the table for the waiter. |
Speak only after you swallow | Avoids “talking while chewing” and reduces noise. | Practice swallowing before launching into conversation. |
Ask permission before using a shared condiment | Respect for others’ preferences. | Politely ask, “May I?” before taking a spoonful of sauce or a shared dipping sauce. |
The article emphasizes that etiquette is not about rigid rule‑making but about making others feel comfortable and respected. Even small adjustments can have a big impact on the dining experience.
4. Common dining quirks – Where to start
After setting the scene, the feature turns to the most frequent quirks that readers often worry about:
Bringing a beverage before the host – In many cultures, the host offers the first drink. Cleveland.com cites a study from the Journal of Social Etiquette (2023) that shows guests who wait for the host to serve beverages are perceived as more courteous.
Using a fork and spoon for the wrong course – The article references Miss Manners’ column “Utensil U‑shapes” (Sept 2025), where she illustrates the difference between the “soup spoon” and the “steak fork” and why the wrong pairing can feel clunky.
Talking loudly or making food noises – The Cleveland piece includes a short clip from a local etiquette workshop where participants practice soft talking while chewing, underscoring that tone matters as much as the food itself.
Using a phone or tablet at the table – Miss Manners’ guidance, as summarized in the article, advises putting devices on silent and setting them aside unless absolutely necessary. The article links to a local high‑school club’s “Digital Dining” initiative, where students practiced staying off their phones during dinner.
Taking large bites – The author’s anecdote about “mouth full, conversation short” is a classic example. The article cites a health‑and‑wellness blog that connects large bites with increased risk of choking and discomfort.
Readers are encouraged to self‑audit these habits by watching themselves on a phone camera or asking a trusted friend for honest feedback.
5. Practical steps to smooth the quirk
The piece offers a set of “quick‑fix” actions that can be applied in any dining situation:
Pre‑dining “manner check” – Stand before the table, take a breath, and mentally review the six rules above. A simple mental check can calm nervousness and keep you on track.
Mindful breathing – Before you speak, take a deep breath to pause the urge to chew or talk immediately. This is a technique Miss Manners recommends for high‑stress environments.
Napkin practice – Place a napkin on a small whiteboard on your kitchen table and practice folding it correctly. A visual cue can be a quick reminder at the dinner table.
Etiquette buddy – Pair up with a friend or coworker and hold “mock dinner” sessions, where each person deliberately practices a different rule. The Cleveland article links to a local community center that offers such sessions for free.
Use a timer – When you’re unsure of how long you should hold a bite before swallowing, set a 10‑second timer. The article notes that a “10‑second rule” is surprisingly effective in many etiquette courses.
6. A cultural perspective – When the quirk is actually appreciated
An interesting twist in the feature is the discussion of cross‑cultural dining norms. The Cleveland.com writer points out that certain quirks, such as eating with your hands or using a communal bowl, are not only acceptable but celebrated in many cultures. Miss Manners clarifies that context matters: “If you’re in a family gathering in Oaxaca where the food is shared, the hand‑eating tradition is perfectly fine. The key is to adapt to the setting.” The article links to a local museum exhibit on global dining customs, providing readers a broader understanding of how etiquette can be fluid.
7. Final words – The takeaway
The conclusion wraps up with Miss Manners’ signature message: “Etiquette is about kindness.” The article reinforces that a single quirk rarely makes people dislike you; rather, it’s a cluster of habits that can add up. By focusing on a few key adjustments—napkin placement, utensil order, and mindful speaking—most diners can feel confident that they’re creating a welcoming atmosphere for themselves and their guests.
Readers are invited to submit their own dining stories to Cleveland.com, and the piece promises a follow‑up article next month that will dive deeper into “Dining in the Digital Age.”
Word count: ~700 words
Read the Full Cleveland.com Article at:
[ https://www.cleveland.com/advice/2025/10/miss-manners-will-my-dining-quirk-make-everyone-dislike-me.html ]